Lessons Learned

I have had such an incredible emotional journey over the past week; incredibly challenging, but incredibly joyous as well. I wanted to take a bit of time today to share with you some important lessons I learned this week.

First lesson: No matter what, you are beautiful. 

I had an intense feeling come over me earlier in the week, after hearing some difficult news, that I was not loved. It was most definitely not a good feeling. It was absolutely one of most difficult moments for me. It challenged me in a way that nothing else ever has. 

I questioned just how much I love myself. I faced that critical place inside, that weak place, that place where the adversary always searches for a way in. I faced it, and I questioned myself, "Why am I falling short? Why am I not seeing a beautiful person in the mirror?"

I have found myself, at times, critical of those who shortchange themselves; those who seemingly live their lives based on others views, or expectations, and at times loathe themselves because they have "failed". What I didn't realize, is that I am guilty of being that person at times. That day this week when things came crashing in on me; and the ability to love myself was, in my eyes, nowhere to be found. It was then that I received some beautiful messages.

Firstly, I spoke with my oldest sister during these extremely vulnerable moments, and she offered tremendous amounts of spiritual support, the likes of which is a bit too personal to share with the world. Yet, I will share that there were some pretty awesome things that I know were gentle reminders from the Lord. I am so grateful to have my sister and her spiritual influence in my life. 

Then, that evening, before bed, I logged in on my Facebook account and right away, saw a message from the Brave Girls Club that you can find here. What struck me the most was the sentence, "Please, no matter what it takes, please try hard to stop comparing your beautiful self to anyone else." I think it hit me, because I realized, instead of turning to the Lord, remembering my individuality, and recognizing that I am a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, I was trying to live up to my definition of perfect, my definition of strong, my definition of beautiful. 

I was forgetting that although I am trying my best, I will always fall short of my own expectations, because my definitions are not the same as the Lord's. 

Why is this so? The first thing that comes to my mind is that I am mortal. That the natural man will always try to define things differently from Heavenly Father, not always out of wanton disobedience or disrespect, but out of confusion by the things of the world. There is also the idea that we sometimes fail to recognize that the Lord requires so much from us, because He knows who we are. He knows who we can become. He knows that this mortal test is extremely difficult for us, and that we may sometimes forget that we can always exceed what we set as our own limits. He knows our potential, and knows how we can grow and progress. He knows, because He has felt everything we have ever, can ever, or will ever feel. He knows, because He truly loves us. 

"The worth of souls is great in the sight of God." 

I also had heard this song by a contemporary Christian band, "Mercy Me", entitled "Beautiful", twice on the radio in the same day. I know that the message in this song is true. I felt it so strongly, and I know that this is a message Heavenly Father had for me during this difficult time. Here is a link to the video:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vh7-RSPuAA . I dare you to listen to it and not cry! :)

Second Lesson: Have courage, because you are the best you there is. 

We are each unique. We are, each of us, individual children of a Father in Heaven who loves us dearly. We each grow in different ways, and at different speeds. We are all dear to the heart of the Shepherd. There are always opportunities to be courageous, and try our best, to be our best. As President Gordon B. Hinckley said, we must "try a little harder to be a little better.” We are all so different, that we can never be somebody else. Trying will only leave you feeling the way I described in the beginning of this post. You are special, and you are loved by Him!

Third Lesson: You are His child, and he will love you no matter what.

Throughout that emotional journey I went on this week, I realized how much comfort I can find, amidst the pain. He hears me. He loves me; even when I am being stubborn. Just as a toddler learning to walk, I can get frustrated. I know walking is within my abilities, I know I will fall, I know He is waiting for me at the end of my path, and yet learning to walk is still a huge challenge.

I know that I will find happiness again. How do I know? Because of those lessons I learned this week; lessons which have been taught to me over and over, and will be taught to me again and again, undoubtedly.

I know that He lives, and I know that throughout these trials and tribulations, He is there, and if I can strive to remain close to Him, I will find peace, and joy.

One last message that struck me, which I would like to close this extra-long post with, is found in the scriptures, but I was reminded by my sister, as well as in a musical program my niece, her husband, and my nephew had parts in last night.

“Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.”


-H.M.-